He said lightheartedly, his fingers trembling around his phone. All he could do was stare at the melancholic performance that played out before him. Akaashi couldn't sleep, but it wasn't because of his unfamiliarity with Bokuto that caused this. He didn't want to be the one to say no to someone who had little to nothing left in his life. 61.7K 2.6K 3.9K. After a moment, quietly, he spoke. His breathing was controlled, much like one of a person's who was actually asleep. He looked around and moved his fingers, trying to make out a phone. He kept himself against Bokuto and held onto him with what little strength he had left in him. He was trying to tell Akaashi something else. Akaashi took an unnoticeable step back. He jogged downstairs, slipped his shoes on, and was out the door in seconds, making his way down the familiar route to the hospital. Looking down swiftly, Akaashi's sights locked onto his hands. January 19th, 6:40pm. There's a storm coming. The sounds of their sneakers squeaking against the gym floor was so memory inducing, it caused Akaashi to take a moment and reminisce on the old days, as if doing so would take him back in time to when he'd play volleyball every single day after school. "Is there something wrong with me standing here?" my theory is that if akaashi did die in the end because of a broken heart, then that "dream" he had where bokuto was healthy is probably real. "You tremble when it's seventy degrees in the room. I'll be sure to bring my laptop when I visit. Bokuto would've taken an hour. [Yeah! Hunter's new YA thriller about a girl who learns that she may have been kidnapped as a child, and must race to uncover the truth about her past before she winds up a victim. He stared at Bokuto and could only nod with whatever it was he thought he was agreeing with. A month and sixteen days had passed since Bokuto's final visit to Akaashi's home, and once he'd been taken back to the hospital, the doctors and nurses made sure to keep a closer eye on him, and with good reason. Was it bad? He needed something anything to say to Bokuto, just so that he could liberate himself of the horrid feeling that threatened to overtake him. He repeated the same phrase, finding that it was difficult to search for words at the time. what disease did, bokuto have in another life. Akaashi eyeballed the small male for a long second, knowing that he wouldn't look up to catch him. Bokuto kept his finger up, then moved his hand to point it at himself. "Three words? His answer was cold, but it did not seem to cut through the other's pleasant mood. "Would you like for him to send a photo?". He leaned back in his chair. We also all know how Bokuto also gets really depressed (Bokuto's emo mode) in the middle of matches. A subreddit about the volleyball manga written by Furudate Haruichi, Haikyuu!! What?" He looked up and grinned, and waved wildly in Akaashi's direction. Bokuto stared down at the white clump of melting ice, and with one finger, he pressed against it to watch it fall apart. A cool breeze passed through the garden just then, and in the distance, Bokuto held on tight to the burgundy knit scarf around his neck to keep warm. "Impressive." "Ha! After this, he would repeat the same process, paying little to no mind to the freezing cold that surrounded him. Akaashi dragged a hand down his face. He watched the window quietly, paying no mind to his visitor, or so Akaashi thought. He dug his thumb nail into the side of his index finger and returned his gaze to Bokuto. And so he continued to try and grasp sleep, expecting nothing from the noise. On the first night out of the three, Akaashi flat out refused to get any rest in fear of suffering another night terror. ", "Exactly, because you belong there!" Once Akaashi had left the hospital, he never looked back. "No you haven't. He turned to look at Akaashi. "I've been insensitive", A laugh bubbled out from Bokuto. Akaashi sighed to himself, frustrated with how easily he'd given in to Bokuto's begging. "What?" At one point, he reached a hand up to grab the beanie off of his head, and he aimlessly chucked it to the ground with force. by hatsumix. It squeezed him, threatening to crush him from the inside out. Akaashi entered the building and greeted the woman at the front desk, as always. I'll see you soon.]. Such an energetic texter, Bokuto was. Bokuto nodded and looked up at Akaashi once again. I recommended this book to my friend Sophia, and she cried too. Weakly, Akaashi parted his lips. what disease did, bokuto have in another life. i also really appreciated their dialogue and certain scenes they had together (when they play volleyball + when he sneaks out to visit + seeing the snow + "you are beautiful" through the notes app). Akaashi couldn't help but almost smile back, his lips barely twitching. "Thank you." I'm not just some visitor, after all. You've got all the right to sleep". Three times, Bokuto jolted awake involuntarily, and three times, he covered his eyes with his forearm and heaved a quiet sigh. He read up on the symptoms and blinked gently, a hand over his lips. Unknown to Bokuto, he watched him quietly through almost closed eyelids, his thick lashes being enough to hide the fact that he was still awake. hasjhjaa currently crying. Don't worry about it.". "Don't worry about it." Though is was delayed, Akaashi moved on instinct and sat near Kuroo. ", Akaashi scratched his head. Suffers panic attacks because of them. But even if he has, that's not what I meant." He kicked his legs out of bed and walked across his room to retrieve a thick blanket that sat bundled up in a rolling chair. Sitting back, he reached a hand out and paused the movie that'd been on screen. He felt the gentlest of taps against his arm, and he turned his head to meet eyes that were as concerned as they were exhausted. Whenever there's a storm I'll be right here holding you close. Akaashi liked it when this happened. Sleeping. Forcing a smile of his own, Akaashi tilted his head only slightly. ", "I do, but I don't want to watch it. "Don't apologize.". "I know." Once there, Bokuto pulled his hand from Akaashi's and leaned it against the windowsill. "Do you think you can toss to me?". His eyes stared forward, uninterested in the information desk several meters from him. He turned his head in the opposite direction, facing Akaashi now. And I d-don't want you to See it all h-happen.". Ain't that the horror of it all" He rubbed his chin and stalked his way down the hall. It wasn't until he watched Kuroo's form double over in his peripheral that Akaashi did glance in his direction, and when he did, he was greeted with a quietly sobbing Kuroo, his face having been buried in the palms of his hands. "Why do you watch me like that?" He looked down at Bokuto's phone. He wore a grimace upon his reddened face. Akaashi kicked his legs out of bed and strode to his window. Bokuto grabbed Akaashi's hands with his own. Thank you, Koutarou, for talking to me me in the hall that day And asking me if I was alright. He snorted in laughter. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too. Without hesitation, he ran across the court to retrieve the ball. "I could ask you the same thing" Akaashi's lips screwed to the side. ", "Not to my knowledge. "When have you ever tried to make a joke? I really have to go.". Those yellow eyes of his would often dart to the floor, then to the ceiling, around the room, and back to the floor, but he would never look at Akaashi. The other spoke in a quiet voice, low and brooding. I finished this months ago but it still hurts and just thinking about it makes me cry. Exhaling heavily, Akaashi turned to look at the desk near his bed. "Alright" He closed his eyes. It had been two months since Bokuto's visit over his home, and ever since then, Akaashi found that making his way to the hospital had become a daily routine for him. As he walked, he stared at the backs of the two men in front of him. "I know you aren't going to ask, so I'll just let you know. It had been sent two hours ago. When Bokuto was like this, Akaashi would normally look away to spare himself the sight of it all. Akaashi made his way to the hospital for the umpteenth time that week, his hands in his jacket pockets and his nose burying into the burgundy knit scarf that protected him from the chilly weather. He was waiting for Kenma, but Akaashi wondered why he hadn't waited for him in the seat that he was initially sitting in. "And my hallucinations aren't all that bad. He'd nodded off for a brief moment, with his arms crossed and his head resting on a thick bundle of pillows. Hesitating for only a second, he reached his hand out and took the device into his hands. He started down the hall, sighing heavily, intent on rushing home. "Take a seat. At one point in his dream, Akaashi looked out the window. It was a reaction that Akaashi was not expecting in the least, but he played off his surprise and only managed an, "I see.". An old friend." He spoke with a small woman there, and after several minutes had passed, Akaashi backed away from the desk, some sheets of paper in hand. externally i'm smiling probably because i'm trying to hide all those FEELS. Akaashi relaxed himself against his mattress and closed his eyes, a powerless yawn leaving him. Bokuto had always been struggling to keep a positive front, but inside, he was falling apart all along. He held it up to his ear and waited for the other line to pick up. He was paler than before, and the bags under his eyes were darker. It was warm on him, certainly something that one would find comforting, but as he stirred in bed, he was certain that something was off. "I am-." Use it.". Playing off of this, Akaashi texted for Kuroo to send an image of himself for Bokuto to see. Akaashi was glad. He thought back to the bags around Bokuto's eyes. I recommend everyone who has the heart for it, READ THIS FIC! Hang in there, alright? i think this is probably one of the saddest . 5/5 porque cuando lo le me dejo destrozada, no conozco la felicidad desde que le esto, nie wiem w sumie jak to sie stao ale faktycznie sie poryczaam XDDD, Im still crying I loved this but also fu to literally everyone on the internet telling me I needed to read this. Getting into the groove, Akaashi follows his routine of preparing for school. Having been neck deep in his own sorrows, Kuroo was blind to Akaashi's. "I'm often busy. With this, he raised a quivering hand and his index finger. Akaashi leaned over in his seat to move himself closer to Bokuto. Did he really think he was admitted to a hospital just because he was having trouble sleeping? In another life bokuto x akaashi - Fan art (2) (Not my story all credits goes to LittleLuxray on ao3) Summary : Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. His laughter died down along with Akaashi's. Over the span of the six days, Akaashi found that the only things Bokuto could manage to swallow were small snacks, like grapes, ice cubes, and Pocky Sticks that were specifically strawberry flavored. No words were exchanged for what seemed like forever before Akaashi spoke up. "See you in three hours." Do something Akaashi closed his mouth and swallowed. He was extremely pale, and somehow thinner than before, but he kept that same smile on his face. ], [Alright, well We'll just see about that.]. I couldn't put Bokuto through all of that. It was Akaashi's way of letting Bokuto know that everything would be alright, and this would always comfort him, no matter the situation they were in. He had to force himself to say the mere four words. The both of them had sat down long ago, leaving Bokuto and Kuroo to their own business as they wandered about and waved their arms around in their animated way of speaking. It was strange how the less Bokuto asked, the more Akaashi found himself saying. Akaashi inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, his eyebrows knitting together as his brow creased. Or maybe not brooding, but more along the lines of apathetic. He moved closer, his other hand taking hold of Bokuto's. "I envy you. [Uh, sure. Bokuto stared off in the distance from beyond the net, his face carrying a confused expression. Akaashi stared intensely at the screen, then tore his gaze away and looked back to Bokuto. "Why not? He pulled a mock cool expression, but this was cut short as someone else spoke up. Bokuto replied, lifting his head. "Akaashi?" "I don't like to see him like that, either. "Wait, what? "But" Akaashi shocked himself with that one word. I don't want to know them. Akaashi groaned softly and covered his face. what disease did, bokuto have in another life. I've seen enough." He hung his head and tried to keep his crying controlled in the best way possible, but this proved to be very difficult as sobs broke out of him, causing his entire being to shake. He watched Bokuto with a wary gaze, unaware of what he was to say next. "Insomnia." So i havent seen ppl talking about this so i m guessing i m the only one who thinks this and its prolly CRAZY but HEAR ME OUT i think akaashi is now have same disease as bokuto and first he coulndt fell asleep and now he is also seeing hallucinations and prolly he will also die like bokuto but the diffrence being he was there for bokuto but sadly there will be no one by his side and he will die alone but surely with a smile on his face cause he can finally meet bokuto in after life. But ultimately, they would urge him to carry out the task that had been pushed on him, and one way or another, he'd do it. ", The male who stood across from Akaashi shifted his weight to one leg. Two weeks had passed since Akaashi's last visit, and to his dismay, he found himself on the same aimless path back to the same dreaded hospital. He said the name with a lack of interest to try and soften the blow, but Akaashi knew that no matter how he approached it, Bokuto would frown when he heard the name. "No. Akaashi's tone was monotonous, but Kuroo didn't fail to detect the venom that lined each word prior to his last sentence. He blinked weakly and slid his fingers down the sides of his phone, a sign of weariness that he could not disobey. The disembodied voice came from off screen. Think that I'm beautiful?" But instead, he was greeted with nothing. He instead allowed his actions to speak for him. 'Sleep well, Akaashi.' But as each second passed, Akaashi could feel his own pain building up more and more within him. He looked up at the sickly one when he'd said those words, trying to meet his gaze, but ultimately finding no yellow eyes to look into. "What was the dream about?". Akaashi continued to read on. I don't regret meeting you.". He tried to aim for it at the very least, but found it difficult to. This was his way of saying he was feeling alright. Bokuto's voice was soft, measly, and carried no force to it. It was a quiet laugh. "Of course. "I'm fine." Akaashi frowned heavily as he entered the hospital. 75. "I spiked it perfectly just now! Akaashi's eyes widened slightly, and his eyebrows knit together in surprise. Tried so hard to keep himself together, but he knew he was too weak to pull such a bluff. "I was drowning." Akaashi cast a weary look in Bokuto's direction, gave a nod, and continued on his way until he was out of the building. as well as Very much." Bokuto's movements were late to this, but he reacted nonetheless as he turned Akaashi's way to touch his chin to the top of his head. His undivided attention was on Bokuto. That night was no different as Akaashi repeated this action for the twentieth time that day, his thumb scrolling up and down for minutes on end until he finally came to a stop. Bokuto asked aloud, finally pulling his hands from his hood pockets. Bokuto covered his mouth and coughed suddenly. It took a moment for Bokuto to respond, but after some time, he managed some words. Akaashi stared through the stranger. ", "I Don't know." He threw it open and faced Bokuto, who was jogging to him with a smile and a shiver in each step. Perplexed, Akaashi directed his full attention to Bokuto. "No is my final answer." All I have to say is that this fucking broke me. "That's Fine with me." I'll have to watch it again.". Akaashi nodded once, and that was all that Bokuto needed to hear before he ran off to retrieve the ball. He walked ahead quickly, straight into the room. Not even a sentence could get past his suffering. Trying so hard to fit in that small amount of sleep that would get him through the next day, and Akaashi wanted to help. He continued to stare on as he talked. His body jerked with each sob that was torn from him, his frame curling to bring himself closer. It was a good idea to have never told them about him after all. Sunlight broke into the room, cascading all along the walls and floor, and casting shadows all around. Which makes this review sound negative, BUT!! But no matter how much he worried for him, Akaashi continued on their way to the window at a slow and steady pace until they finally made it. This would have me to conclude that he had Bipolar 1, or possibly Cyclothymia Disorder, which has brief periods of mania and depression. haikyuulovestory, xread. Akaashi shifted, leaning in the direction of where he'd come from. "Come on" Akaashi reached a hand out to help Bokuto to his feet. "I wanted to do s-so many things". Bokuto had nothing more to say after that. "Yeah, but for all the wrong reasons." "I still miss it though. The taller, dark haired male gestured to them. "They Aren't really there, are they?" "You don't need to know." The male across from him did well in hiding the look of offense that almost surfaced upon his face. Akaashi lifted his head from his pillow and reached a hand out to grab his phone. He held it in his shaking hands and closed his eyes in an attempt to try and find sleep again. "That weather will only hurt you. "Shut up." He chuckled and rubbed at his face wearily. Akaashi's arm cautiously wrapped itself around Bokuto's broad shoulders. masked singer uk season 1 reveals . What sat upon the screen was not what he thought it would be, but rather A simple compliment. ", "When I said that it would be a tough mess for them to clean up" Akaashi sounded genuinely confused. He didn't care if it was seven at night, or eight at night, or twelve in the morning, or if the world's clock stopped moving altogether. "If it isn't too much trouble, may I come over?". Same thing happened to me and now I'm questioning myself. He was thinner than before, a large flannel shirt fitting him loosely. They were still wrapped up in whatever conversation they were having. It was then that he started to inaccurately press at words that he was trying to make out. ", "I hope so. Bokuto's hallucinations had become such a part of him, that he thought the snow outside was just another mind trick. Akaashi leaned his head on his hand, chin resting in his palm. "It's just A slow, downhill ride f-from here. He couldn't find his pulse. He lay on his back, with his head on some of Akaashi's pillows. Akaashi was at a loss for words. He kept his breathing controlled and steady for about forty minutes; he looked sound asleep, but was actually drifting between the real world and the dream realm. Bokuto refused to budge. Akaashi knew that running probably wasn't the best thing that he should have been doing, but he said nothing about it. ", "Don't think so. lamar county tx property search 2 via de boleto "Stop trying to act like this isn't such a big deal You may not think it is, but I" He paused and reached his arms out to get in another shove. Guilt bubbled up within Akaashi's chest. Akaashi kicked his legs out of bed with much effort and stood on his feet. i like how you see the main character develop through their friendship and idk, it made me feel like they were soulmates who had a positive impact on each other. "Of this hospital. Akaashi squeezed his hands together to keep them from shaking uncontrollably. Pressing his lips into a thin slab of a line, Akaashi shook his head once more. He was only a blurred shape now, but Akaashi knew he was still there. I showed up to your house unannounced at three in the morning. Short description of the movie (from Google): Six individuals belonging to different generations go on an emotional ride while exploring how human actions impact the lives of their loved ones in this ever-changing world. Ahhhh I know you didn't tell me to send a video, but, I'm not someone who follows rules." i'm internally SOBBING. It wasn't like Bokuto to question what he said in such a straightforward fashion. A genuine expression made its home on Akaashi's features, and a hand reached up to push through his raven locks. (does that make sense?). "I Don't Usually text," Akaashi murmured. Akaashi almost smiled back, and he would have, too, if it hadn't been for the thunder that sounded its arrival from above. When the screen lit up, a text message from Bokuto waited there for him. "No. Dreaming.". It took time for Akaashi's words to reach him, but when they finally did, his face lit up as he broke out in laughter. The light that came from outside reflected off of Bokuto's teardrops, lighting his face up in the most gentle of ways. This was their unspoken communication. It's actually snowing.". Their walking then slowed to a halt, and it was then that Akaashi had become aware of the new individual who'd invaded his personal space. Bokuto only complied and stuck his entire arm out instead, watching as each individual snowflake passed around his limb, as if none wanted to touch him. "Of course they do." The drastic weight loss was awful enough, but as if to add insult to injury, Bokuto's worsening condition also made it increasingly difficult for him to walk, move, and speak. You don't need to know a THING about Haikyuu!! He stared at the ceiling. I'm trying to detach myself. Loud, though.". Bokuto didn't allow him to finish his sentence as he embraced Akaashi suddenly. In time, Kuroo and Kenma found that it was time for them to make their way back home. "Goodbye.". Akaashi sat in bed and wrapped a sheet around himself. His face still wore the same shade of red, but he no longer minded this. The familiar voice made Akaashi's throat tighten. Bokuto missed Akaashi's set twelve times. He looked around in weary haste, but calmed quickly once his memory had returned to him. DID is usually caused by past trauma. "It isn't." He then tossed it to Bokuto once he was close enough. He'd flinched hard and sat up quickly, closing his hand over his mouth to subdue the almost hysteric sounds that came from him. He instead continued to stare in Akaashi's direction with hopeful eyes. Bokuto curled in on himself and pushed his hands into his hood pocket. I think you'd better leave 'em both alone.". It brought him back to his high school days. His eyes locked onto Bokuto's. At times, Akaashi would look through the conversations that he'd shared with him. "Oh- you can move." "Don't call me that." Not only was Bokuto the kind of guy to sneak out when no one was watching, but his condition had quickly begun to worsen without warning. littleluxray's writing style is absolutely amazing and i can see why several people love this. There was that, and the fact that Akaashi couldn't help but find Bokuto's smile endearing, no matter how sickly he looked when he wore one. Akaashi rose from his seat to enter the room, but instead found Bokuto standing at the door in seconds, his eyes wide with surprise. I loved this. "It m-makes me Feel like I'll h-have another life One beyond this one One that's better Wh.. Where I can actually wake up to you and be with y you" A smile played on his pale, thin lips. Even if it's just a little bit." He inhaled audibly, and Akaashi could hear a scratching sound. This story is a heart wrenching major character death story. Akaashi inhaled slowly. Akaashi knew this. He held onto the IV stand with one hand and Akaashi's hand with his other as he hobbled over to the window. Akaashi woke up to the feeling of sunlight against his face. Bokuto mouthed an "Okay," before backing up several steps. It was difficult, however, as each time he tried to drift off to sleep, that unnerving fear of having the same dream would jerk him back awake. "I understand. The way his lips curled at the corners, the way his eyes squinted just enough so that only a glint of green could be seen. He let it fall over his stomach, and there it rested. An 'It's alright,' could be heard from behind him, but it soon faded as Akaashi continued forward. Bokuto stared at Akaashi, his features having gone from disappointed to unaccepting. "Just breathe with me.". Cold. Bokuto didn't respond. Surprised, Akaashi gave Bokuto his attention again. "It's not like I would've made any noise," Bokuto all but shouted, following after him. This time, Bokuto directed his attention to Akaashi. He was cool to the touch colder than most. My sister told me to read it, since I really don't cry. He hesitated for a moment, but finally spoke up. On that one hand, three fingers stuck out. The black haired male looked up from his hands. Indifference morphed into curiosity, and said curiosity was what drew Akaashi closer to his new friend. Not after this. He stared down at the screen, his brow furrowing slightly. "You've had two panic attacks this week already, and your hallucinations are getting worse. I think the window will be as far as we can go." It read: "If I knew those words I spoke a week ago would have been my last, I would have chosen them more carefully.". Bokuto has round, golden-colored eyes and spiky white-grey hair with black streaks; certain sections of it are done up as if to vaguely conform to that of an animal, strongly amplifying the uncanny resemblance he bears to a horned owl. "Likewise.". Kuroo echoed the words in agreement. To this, he shifted in closer and allowed his body to relax. Akaashi cast a weary look in Bokuto's direction, gave a nod, and continued on his way until he was out of the building. Akaashi forced a smile. Keeping his eyes closed, Akaashi took in the feeling of this. "I come to visit and I'm barely paid attention to, but when he comes along, he's given the whole package? "Was he ever fond of them? His emerald eyes met golden ones. Akaashi lifted his head in subtle interest. He was staring outside at the white clouds that shrouded the skies, mesmerized by just how colorless it made everything seem. He just hoped that the night wouldn't bring him any malevolent dreams. So whenever he went silent, an unwelcomed feeling of discomfort found its home within Akaashi. Akaashi stifled a laugh. He turned his head slowly to look at Bokuto, and watched him as he lay in his arms. He felt his heart rate accelerate, and his throat tightened as his vision blurred.